California Dreaming —我的2016

年关将至,不觉又一个春秋。Neil Young老当益壮刚发了新专讲他在亚马逊上买个了个机器人的故事,赵雷不声不响发了他的《无法长大》开始卖起了唱片。冬天的风还在一直地吹,然而几场雨后加州依稀可见连绵起伏的新绿,好像春天已然迫不及待地想要发出她的新声。若来一场天街小雨,便可呼朋唤友,竹杖芒鞋走遍优胜美地,访造化之幽远,悟世道之艰险。

已经习惯了每年年末在自己这片后花园里自说自话除除野草种种新草,回味这一年发生的点点滴滴的事,一则温故知新,二则以文为志,来者皆可指摘一二,仿佛在无人问津的路口竖起了一块路牌,上面写着:流浪人,你若到2016…… Continue reading

问卷调查

当你迷失在人生的十字路口时
坐下来填完这张问卷
无关种族,无关政治信仰
只是一片被秋风吹落的枫叶
而答案在风中飘着

你从哪来,你要去哪
你的灵魂几岁
你的理想多重
你走过了多少烟雨迷蒙的小巷
你错过了几趟有去无返的马车
你见到她是否依然桃花满面
你想起他是否还是杨柳纷飞

这个世界正在分崩离析吗
苦难是欢乐必不可少的影子吗
死亡是自由最完美的墓志铭吗
音乐成了新的文学
剧本成了新的导演
没人会再想起
冬天之后还会有春天

这不过又是个颗粒无收的秋天
抑或无人问津的中央公园
至少还有那么多问卷
答案在风中飘着

2016.11.21

得不到的和不想要的

你所渴望的终有一天都会得到
你所热爱的终有一天都会衰老
比如三番夏天蜿蜒的迷雾
比如夕阳染红的金门大桥
可是她说:我们还有明天

你所见到的并非你所想要的
你所站立的并非你所坚持的
Donna Donna Donna, Donna
Donald Donald Donald, Donald
可是她说:我们还有未来

你所哭泣的便是你所深爱的
你所愤怒的便是你所快乐的
漫无目的地飞行着的白鸽
和漫无目的的地奔跑着的行人
水泄不通的晚高峰
和水泄不通的大游行
可是她说:我们还有下一站

你所梦寐以求的
你所嗤之以鼻的
你所叹为观止的
你所习以为常的
可是她说:我们还有下辈子

2016.11.16

Treaty

Note: This is my translation version of Leonard Cohen‘s song Treay which appears in his latest album <You Want It Darker>. I was deeply touched by it the first time it hit on me.

I’ve seen you change the water into wine
I’ve seen you change it back to water, too
I sit at your table every night
I try but I just don’t get high with you
I wish there was a treaty we could sign
I do not care who takes this bloody hill
I’m angry and I’m tired all the time
I wish there was a treaty, I wish there was a treaty
Between your love and mine Continue reading

纽约组诗

第一日

见到纽约的第一眼感觉就回到了上海
走在第五大街的一个抬头的瞬间以为是南京东路的昨日重现
公共交通虽然发达但设备陈旧环境又脏又乱
沿着铁轨蹿走的老鼠就是这个城市腐坏黑暗的罪证
永远无法理解的现代艺术的陈列与日新月异的城市建筑群达成一致
我们逛遍所有奢侈品商店,只为寻找一个卫生间
啊纽约啊纽约
你的烈日灼烧着我甜蜜的冰淇淋
你的马车抵抗着满街的香水
你的市井小道密谋着浪漫与算计
可是我为何还如此爱着你
或许只因那个下午
中央公园里轻轻的一个吻

第四日

夜雨之后,晨行好个凉快
心情摆脱了天气的束缚
自顾自地在大街上微笑
Beach Boy的wouldn’t it be nice连绵至Union Street
真是个多情的种子,不到一周就爱上了
一个新的城市,和这里的人
我的血管里流淌着纽约的地铁, 永不停歇

阴天的帝国大厦寻找着自我隐匿
一个劲地往云里钻
即使这是地球上平均海拔最高的区域
依然在天空之下
凭窗而望,这个城市如此安静
静止在熙熙攘攘的人流中
静止在滚滚东逝的哈德孙河边

百老汇区排起了长队
不是为了买打折的奢侈品
不是为了买洗脑的电子设备
夜还在地平线下
天空被四通八达的建筑骨架切分
来自阿根廷的中年妇女
不安地看着她碎屏的手机
脚下的购物袋侵蚀着她的自由
素未平生的我们
靠着Google翻译打发中场休息的无聊

西班牙人?
不,阿根廷。
第一次来?
不,第三次。
能听懂么?
不能。

时代广场的初遇如此突然
让我措手不及
确实是人类主义精致的展览馆
灯火辉煌的百老汇街
让从未抬头的人们无法低头

Continue reading

One More Year

A week ago, my college friend Yong commented on an old tweet I posted in my personal Wechat’s Moments almost a year ago. The tweet was about the mixing thoughts I had when I received an email letter from Futureme.org. That was the first letter I wrote to myself in the form of saying a hi to yourself in one year.

I got yet another letter on June 17th. Touched again by what I wrote, thought and expected, I whisper to myself “hey man, this is exactly what your need to hear now”.  Yeah, how time flies! Think about it: one year ago, I was still sitting at the corner of the college library, downing the Silicon Valley TV series, and now I am working at the center of the Silicon Valley(ideally but not geographically), watching the same show on HBO Now. If going back one more year further,  I wasn’t even sure about where I should go and what I should do in the future. I am really surprised to see my growing trajectory through these letters and my after-thoughts.

I was hoping I could travel around China and I made it last summer, taking trains all long the northern part and western part of China and arriving at my “Jerusalem” Tibet; I was hoping I won’t be bored in the USA and I am glad to say I enjoy the life here pretty much, having many interesting friends and going to various concerts and shows periodically. Even working at Google itself gives me a lot of motivations to work hard and play harder!; I was hoping I can learn more about the American cultures and history and I am just going to pay a visit to  New York and Boston during late June and early July.

I also missed a lot of things.  I missed my sister’s wedding, missed my friends’ birthdays, missed busting opportunities and fortunes in China. But there is one thing I should never miss: my freedom. Young and free, I can’t imagine a better age than what I am now, literally being able to pursue anything I want.

This is the best age I could have while this might also be the worst world I could live in. At first, I am definitely an optimist and futurist.  However, if you look at the other side of the earth, where thousands of innocent kids, men and women died of wars and terrorist attacks, given we are already living in the 21st century! After world war I, most of the Europeans believed there would be no wars anymore. World war II broke out shortly twenty years later. And here we go, at the intersection where technology(broadly speaking,  ironically when we say technology now, most people will think about their apps and devices) is evolving rapidly and is reshaping the future of our life, numerous people still live in extreme poverty and die every second. The disgusting and dark side of human beings hangs over the human history from thousands of year ago till today.

Should I put my faith on looking for some spiritual utopia? Or should I swallow my dismay and take some actions?  Here comes the third thought: it’s reported that the gravitational waves have been detected for the second time in history and they are caused by the collisions of two black holes 1.4 billion light years away far from us. It takes a light 1.4 billion years to travel through the dark and mysterious universes to say a hi to the earth, as a species most of whom may live at most 100 years, what’s the point of wars and disasters? They are merely the nature of Nature. We comes from nothing, and we will return to nothing.

But every night, when I fall asleep,  I always dream about traveling  billions of light years to say a hi to myself there.

Zeitgeist

一进入三月整个人变得异常的敏感,对时间流逝的知觉、细节的关注、生命的体验都达到了一个很久没来过的高峰。三月十三号,从冬令时切换到夏令时,第二天照常七点起床,打开百叶窗一看,东方还将晓未晓,于是静坐窗前,欣赏一场久违的日出。世间还有什么比黎明前的自我觉醒更令人振奋,更值得人庆祝。气变悟时易,不眠知夕永。陶渊明的这句诗放在任何一个季节轮转的节点都令人感慨万千。再则,三月的加州烟雨飘摇,在皮肤的毛孔间想起南国的潮湿,雨季,还有打着伞或拿着苹果寻找着命运的姑娘。可突然又一个晴空万里,落英缤纷,仿佛一次小调到大调的调性转换。 Continue reading

日出

惊蛰的雨唤醒
窗前一株桃树
和几声清脆的乌鸦的破嗓门
人却愈发慵懒
让日出得以追赶
他的梦、他对昨日的眷恋

谁可曾观看过加州的日出
在茫茫的太平洋边
装满了欲望的旅店

唯一没有国籍的存在:
穿越了红杉树林的风——
失去观众的艺术家

正如他看见
查拉图斯特拉站在屋顶
拿着热气腾腾的煎饼果子
面朝东方,泪流满面

2016.3 Mountain View

如何优雅地薅资本主义羊毛

初到美帝,目睹美帝苛税猛于虎、市区无人住的水深火热的生活,不禁感叹我大社会主义制度的优越性。可是话又说回来,这是个吃人的社会,这也是个盛产羊毛的国家。地理学得比较好的同学立马就问了,要论羊毛,当数澳大利亚这个“骑在羊背上的国家”,人家美帝排老几。诚然,要论纯天然羊毛,自然望尘莫及,但要论资本主义羊毛,我想要以美帝马首是瞻了。《论语》颜渊问仁,颜回感叹曰:回虽不敏,请薅斯羊毛矣。他为什么如此感叹呢,因为孔子跟他说了如何周游列国薅帝国主义羊毛的经验。吾虽不才,愿效孔子矣! Continue reading

美国买车记

2016年1月22日,我拥有了人生中第一辆车。
 
车型是2016 Corolla LE, 白色外观,灰色内饰,带倒车镜头,最后成交出门价$17749,在Palo Alto的Magnussen’s Toyota完成的交易。
 
因为在买车过程中一直在网上找前人的经验分享,比如车的评价,车的最后真实出门价,和dealer砍价的技巧等等,对于一个从没开过车更没买过车的新手来说,这些都是非常重要的参考资料,所以我就想把我这次的经历分享给未来可能需要这些经验的朋友们。
 
这个大概可以分为三个问题:是否真的需要买车?买什么样的车?如何买车?

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